Cuffs
by angie1379
Summary: Kate has something she wants to share with Castle – but are they ready, and can she overcome the mistakes of her past? Warning: Adult themes.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **Kate has something she wants to share with Castle – but are they ready, and can she overcome the mistakes of her past? Warning: Adult themes.

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><p><strong>Author's note: <strong>While not explicit, this story contains adult themes that warrant an M rating. Everything is derived from comments and events in the show, but the resulting story is still thematically provocative.

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><p>I own nothing.<p>

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><p>The following episodes and scenes informed and inspired this story:<p>

**The Mistress Always Spanks Twice:** Remember how badly Castle wanted to know how Beckett knew so much about custom bondage gear?

**Secret's Safe With Me: **Remember when Kate assures Castle she still has the box of stuff from her "kinky past"?

**Time Will Tell: **When Castle tells Beckett that Alexis is moving out, she reveals that she had lived with a boyfriend in her youth, against her father's wishes.

**Little Girl Lost: **Beckett tells Castle she and Sorenson had been together for six months. What if it had been _exactly_ six months?

**Plausible Deniability: **Castle tries to joke that being handcuffed at the precinct isn't as much fun as the other night at Kate's place. But what if that wasn't the first time? Vague allusion.

**Murder, He Wrote: **Seems like the most likely time and location for the main setting of the plot.

And of course … **Cuffed:** _"But next time, let's do it without the tiger."_ 'Nuff said.

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><p><strong>September<strong> **2012**

Kate bustled about her apartment, throwing various items into her small suitcase. From the bathroom, she grabbed lotion, hair products, and make-up, and from the bedroom, she piled clothes and shoes onto the bed as she carefully selected what would make the final cut: her new sundress, white capris, jean shorts, swimsuit, tank top, two cammies, yoga pants, running shorts ... her new black nightie ...

And the pile kept growing. She had to remind herself several times that they were only going to be in the Hamptons for three days; she didn't need to pack for a month.

Still, she wanted to have options. What if they went out to dinner? What if they never left the beach? She wanted to be able to dress for any contingency.

Finally, the bag was packed, and there was nothing left to do except make the one decision she had been debating all morning. She had been toying with the idea ever since Castle had made the suggestion they go away for the weekend. Was she ready to take this step with him? It had been so, so long since she'd trusted anyone enough to even consider it, because the other times hadn't gone so well. But, oh, it was so tempting. She knew how good it could be. But was it too soon?

The box sat in the back of her closet, practically taunting her with its presence. She retrieved it hesitantly, so very tempted, but so very reluctant.

Her mind drifted back ...


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the great response to this story. It wasn't easy to write or post, but your reviews are making me feel a little more confident about it. I hope the rest lives up to expectations.

Now, to visit Kate's past ...**  
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><p><strong>October 2002<strong>

Kate Beckett hated crying. She knew it was a natural, physiological reaction that the body employed to cleanse itself of overwhelming emotion, but that didn't make it any easier for her. Especially when she was crying over a guy — a guy who didn't even deserve it.

Unfortunately, that guy had also been her boyfriend for nearly the past year. Okay, eight months to be exact, but she had really been looking forward to that one-year milestone so that she could finally prove to her father that Derrick was serious and that she wasn't an idiot for moving in with him.

She had graduated from NYU in May, and Derrick's roommate wanted his own girlfriend to move in with them, so Derrick wanted out, and it just made sense that he and Kate would find a place together while she prepared for the Police Academy. It was perfect. Her dad had tried to forbid her from "playing house," but she wasn't about to move back home when Jim Beckett spent half his time inside a bottle of scotch. And she couldn't afford to live on her own unless she used her mom's life insurance money, which she refused to touch. What was the big deal anyway? Half her friends were living with their boyfriends – or girlfriends. It was the perfect solution.

Besides, Derrick was great. And they were great together. She wasn't ready to say she wanted to marry him, but he was fun and exciting in a way that allowed her to pretend she was just like any other 22-year-old ready to start her life — and have as much fun as possible doing it. He took her to the craziest clubs, didn't care if she partied too hard, and of course, the sex was a-maz-ing! They were insatiable and creative and fearless, going as far as nearly getting caught under the Brooklyn Bridge at two in the morning.

And she loved the way she felt with him — energetic and excited. Everything was possible, and she didn't have the dark cloud of her mother's death hanging over her all the time. He made her forget. So who cared if he dropped out of school and hadn't found a job yet? He was looking and would find something soon. Who cared if he blamed others a little too often, whined a bit too much, or got jealous a bit too quickly? He was young and still figuring out who he was, just like her.

But after a few months, things started to change, and Kate didn't want to admit it. She wanted to focus on the things that kept them together, the fireworks and heat and tantalizing fun, and not those childish, selfish behaviors that were getting harder to ignore now that she couldn't get away from them.

So the first time he'd suggested using restraints to spice things up, she'd been intrigued. Why not? It was a new millennium, and she was a modern woman, not ashamed of her own sexuality.

The experience had been exciting and erotic. It had felt dangerous — but still safe — and definitely arousing. It was so good that Kate had been the one to suggest they try it again.

But then it started to get a little intense. He pushed. He tested. And he ignored.

Their relationship became about power, and suddenly she found herself losing it. He questioned her and doubted her and whined about everything. His insecurities began to multiply as he lost one job, then two, while she excelled. She didn't feel threatened, only increasingly annoyed and impatient. His life was one excuse and one distraction after another, while she had a laser focus on her goal of joining the NYPD.

When he tried to "persuade" her, while vulnerable and immobilized, to withdraw from the academy and follow him to Belgium, she knew it was over. She ordered him to release her and told him she was done.

"Come on, baby. Let's get out of this city and go to Europe. We can work at a hostel and travel around."

She looked at him like he sprouted a second head. "Derrick, are you insane? What part of 'I'm in the police academy and want to start my career' did you misunderstand?"

"What happened to you, Kate? You used to be so much fun, and now all you do is study and go to the shooting range." He sounded like an eight-year-old who wasn't getting to go to Chuck E. Cheese.

She pulled on shorts and a t-shirt to reduce her vulnerability and tried to spell it out for him. "This has been fun, a lot of fun. But I want more. Going to nightclubs and having sex in the public library is thrilling and exciting, but it's not enough for me anymore."

And then she'd told him she was moving out.

Eight months together, five under the same roof, and all she'd done was prove her dad right. That stung. But her pride wouldn't let her move home for another few months when her personal financial limits and her father's undeniable need for help forced her to face those responsibilities she had been hiding from with Derrick.

She'd learned a hard lesson about fun versus responsibility, and the pleasures and risks of relationships. She doubted it was an experience she'd repeat soon or lightly, and knew that for the immediate future, she was going to focus on finishing the academy, becoming a cop, and helping her dad climb out of the bottle. She'd already lost one parent. She wasn't going to lose the only one she had left.

Wiping her tears, she packed up the last of her belongings, hauled the two duffle bags down to the cab that would take her home, and closed the door on that chapter in her life.


	3. Chapter 3

**Six years later; June 2008**

Kate stood at the counter, cash in hand. She did not want an electronic record of this particular purchase.

"That will be $84.95," the woman said, her face a picture of nonjudgemental professionalism. This was her business, and she respected every person's right to experiment within an intimate relationship.

Kate drew in a sharp breath. The price was more than she'd wanted to spend, especially on what amounted to only a half-anniversary, but she had cautious hopes that the end result would be worth it. She really wanted this risk to pay off.

In the 21st century, six months was a noteworthy milestone for any relationship, but especially for two people in very demanding, high stress jobs. That she and Will were still together, and by all indications moving in an increasingly committed direction, was to Kate's mind, a testament to their compatibility. While it was still way too soon to be thinking about anything _too_ permanent, she felt that a little demonstration of trust and personal vulnerability was a step they were ready to take. That it was also wickedly illicit left Kate feeling a combination of self-consciousness and naughty excitement.

A few weeks earlier, a late-night pillow talk session had turned quite revealing when Kate and Will had discovered a mutual willingness to explore somewhat darker desires and fantasies in the bedroom. The conversation, laden with euphemisms as it was, left Kate entertaining an idea for their impending semi-anniversary that had ultimately brought her to this particular shop, buying this particular gift.

"Would you like to see them?" the owner, Elizabeth according to her name tag, asked when Kate had paid the $85.

Kate nodded silently, as terror, self-consciousness, and anticipation tore through her system with equal vigor.

Elizabeth lifted the lid on the white, shoe-sized box. Inside was a mass of black tissue paper, strategically placed to conceal the contents within. Moving the paper aside, the woman removed one black leather cuff, about three inches wide and adorned with a silver buckle and two matching circular rings.

Kate accepted the proffered cuff, feeling the softness of the leather and already imaging it wrapped securely around her wrist. Was it wrong that she was looking forward to this so much, she wondered to herself.

The other cuff was identical, and included a small clasp that hooked to one of the rings on its twin, linking the cuffs together.

As if on cue, Elizabeth began pointing out the hand stitching, the high quality of the leather, the secure yet comfortable fit, and the promise that no marks would be left on her wrists due to the soft and even distribution of resistance. "These are qualities that make the custom products worth the price compared to the inferior material used in the mass produced varieties, such as those over there," she said, pointing out the various cuffs lining the wall.

Kate nodded again, having heard the sales pitch on her first visit to the shop to look into her options for what to get Will. Custom gear seemed a bit excessive for their first foray into light bondage, but her profound love of good shoes and her time on the back of a motorcycle had taught her a deep respect for quality leather. It was one thing she was willing to pay for under any circumstances.

Once rewrapped, Kate thanked the store-owner, walked out of the shop, and began bolstering her courage to revisit a sexual world that was, for Kate, as alluring as it was intimidating.


	4. Chapter 4

**June 2008; later that same night**

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><p>Eight hours later, her plans, along with a growing part of her life, lay in pieces around her as she wiped away another round of indignant, disbelieving tears.<p>

Wine. Lamb. Candles. A little, black dress. Seduction.

And leather cuffs in the bedroom.

Bastard.

He'd never know they were ever there, waiting for him to strap them to her wrists. He'd never know what her surprise was going to be, the step she was going to take with him, the trust she was going to offer him.

Because Will's surprise was that he was going to Boston. That had been his anniversary present to her. He'd announced so proudly that "they" were going to Boston. Or so he assumed, until she had carefully pointed out that she had a job and a life she loved in New York.

And so, instead of concluding the celebration with a night of intimate exploits, their evening had devolved into a horrendous argument and ended with Kate alone and in tears. Her relationship was over, punctuated by bewilderment that Will couldn't understand why quitting her job and following him to Boston was not the no-brainer he assumed it would be. She had fatally overestimated his respect for her work and was shocked to discover that he saw her job as barely more significant than a waitress at a corner diner compared to his self-importance as a federal agent.

It was a devastating wake-up call, especially given her blind confidence that what they had together was closer than she'd ever come to a mature, committed adult relationship.

But it was over. He would be gone in a week, and she would move on once again.

With the fierce determination that had already gotten her through so much in life, she deliberately threw out the leftover food, spilled the remaining wine into the sink, and extinguished the candles that had so seductively set the mood.

In the bedroom, she came face to face once again with the evidence of her plans resting so temptingly on a pillow. The cuffs were custom-made, so there was no returning them. And she couldn't bring herself to discard or destroy such quality leather. They were hers, designed for her wrists, and she was going to keep them, Will Sorenson be damned. They were hers, not his, even if she was going to grant him the privilege of using them. Maybe she would get to use them some day. Or maybe she'd never look at them again. But at least they represented her one-time effort to move beyond the folly and ineptitude of her youth. They represented the trust she'd thought he'd earned, the trust she'd finally been willing to give.

It was going to be a long time before she took that chance again, if ever.


	5. Chapter 5

**The tale continues! Thank you so much for your support and feedback! I'm always interested in what you think!**

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><p><strong>March 2010<strong>

He was infuriating, but he was so damn easy to taunt and tease.

_What aren't you telling me!?_

_So much, Castle. So very, very much._

She smiled at the memory of their conversation a few mornings ago. He'd been so enamored by her knowledge of custom bondage equipment that she couldn't resist the chance to leave him insatiably wondering about the source of that particular information.

Now that the case was over, she felt free to revisit a part of her past she had buried nearly two years before. Her visit to Lady Irena's House of Pain evoked desires she'd ignored for so long. Of course, she wasn't in any kind of a relationship that would lend itself to attending to those desires. However, that didn't stop her from secretly indulging in some very explicit, guilty fantasies involving the partner she still wouldn't admit she felt for than annoyed impatience. Nope, not even under torture. But when she let herself drift, she couldn't stop the images of his hands, his mouth, his eyes, oh sweet God, his eyes …

No, stop! She shook free of the gripping allure of her treasonous imagination and turned her attention back to the white box, which was exactly where she'd left it in her closet after Will had left that fateful night. Nestled in the layers of tissue paper were the supple leather wrist cuffs, custom made and designed to be as comfortable as they were secure.

They had never been on her wrists — or anyone else's wrists for that matter. But that didn't mean she didn't think about it from time to time. Her exploration into that arena had been brief and nearly eight years ago, but it had been thrilling and something she thought would be pleasurable to try again — with the right partner, who just hadn't come along quite yet.

And then her mind drifted to Castle and whether he'd ever engaged in bedroom power play. Of course he had, she concluded somewhat redundantly – and bitterly. With all his experience and exploits, there was probably very little he hadn't tried. The thought brought with it equal parts intrigue and derision. Part of her wanted to indignantly dismiss him as a contemptible, shallow playboy, but another part of her buzzed with the thought of his strong fingers wrapping those cuffs around her wrists as he leaned in to capture her mouth in a kiss. Her eyes closed to the images in her mind as she let the scene play out, while running her fingers along the supple leather, wondering, questioning, hoping, and nearly disbelieving that she would ever have anything more than her own indulgent fantasies.

Shaking off such unwanted and irresistible thoughts yet again, she replaced the cuffs in their box and put it back on the closet shelf. Someday. Maybe. With someone she told herself she most certainly hadn't met yet.

Right.


	6. Chapter 6

**Back to where we started - September** **2012**

For the first time in nearly three years, Kate removed the tell-tale box from the back of her closet. She hadn't even opened it when she'd retrieved it after her apartment blew up two and a half years earlier. Like most of her possessions in the bedroom, it had survived with minimal damage, and Kate hadn't even removed the lid when she'd slid it on another shelf in another apartment. And there it had sat for another two and a half years.

But now it was calling to her. Now, she thought, she was finally in a place where she might get to use them. If she was brave enough.

She knew Castle would be up for it — in more ways than one. They had joked and exchanged potent innuendo that left little doubt to his willingness to experiment – his eagerness even. But they'd never taken the step to try. He'd never outright asked, and she'd never offered. That's not to say they hadn't gotten creative and had plenty of other methods and means to explore since becoming a couple. Her face flushed with memories of exactly how innovative they had gotten. Besides, they'd only been together a few months, even if it felt like longer. The transition from friends to lovers had been so natural and seamless that she sometimes forgot they had only been together since May. And it was so good. So good. But this would still be something new – and something several degrees bolder than anything she'd done with anybody in a decade.

But this was Castle, the only man she'd ever known she was in love with before sleeping with him. By modern standards, they'd practically done everything backwards – first becoming friends, while learning to trust each other as partners, and then slowly falling in love, all before ever becoming intimate.

So what was she afraid of, she asked herself, her mind finally made up as she determinedly placed the box into her suitcase once and for all. It was about time she got to put those cuffs to use. She'd waited long enough and was finally in a place, and in a relationship, where she felt safe and free to give in to these desires. And she knew, more surely than she could even articulate, that with Castle, it would be amazing.

With that thought causing a mile-wide grin of anticipation to spread across her face, she firmly zipped up the bag, considered the matter settled, and focused on looking forward to seeing Castle's face when she revealed her surprise.

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><p><em>One more chapter to go. I think it will be worth the wait ...<em>


	7. Chapter 7

**Continued ...**

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><p>"So you've never used these before?" he asked softly, trailing a finger down her arm from where the black leather hugged her wrists and kept her arms firmly affixed to the headboard.<p>

"No," she gasped breathlessly, arching against his touch and straining against her bonds.

The air was practically sparking with the charged atmosphere in the room. Castle's eyes had simultaneously widened and darkened when Kate had produced the leather cuffs from her bag.

He'd demonstrated great patience and diligence as he strapped the cuffs to her wrists, using the task as an excuse to stroke and kiss her fingers and pulse point, smiling at the rapid beat he detected there.

When he was done, he'd just stood there and looked his fill, rendered dumbstruck by the privilege of this amazing woman's affection.

And then he'd set about drawing every last gasp from her lips and every ounce of pleasure from her body. When she'd expected relentless teasing, he'd responded with slow, tender ministrations. He didn't take advantage of her helpless state, but instead covered her body with firm caresses, deep kisses, and the steady, relentless pressure of his lovemaking.

He was an exquisite lover, never taking the predictable path, even when he had her at his mercy and could extract whatever torture his mind could devise. Rather, he set about showing her the wonder of relinquishing control, the beauty of accepting and receiving all he could give.

And when she lay limp and sated in his arms, more content than she'd ever been, she reflected not for the first time that every heartache, every mistake, and every hard lesson she'd endured in her life had been worth it to now have this man in her life. He made her feel so much more than she'd ever had before. Their first weekend together in the Hamptons might not have gone exactly as planned, but it had certainly ended on a note neither one would forget any time soon.

When they had both recovered to the point of forming coherent thoughts again, Castle reached for one of the discarded cuffs, curiously inspecting the buckle and leather.

"Dare I ask how the respectable, professional-to-a-fault Detective Beckett came to be in possession of such well-crafted, high-end, custom bondage cuffs?"

Kate's face scrunched up at the question, inevitable though she knew it would be. She wanted to explain it without leaving him feeling like he was using a hand-me-down sex toy, which was not the case at all. They were hers, and no one else's.

Carefully, she replied, "I was in a relationship a while back that I thought was ready for something like this. But I was wrong, and they've been in my closet, untouched, ever since."

It was times like these that he hated his eternally curious nature. But still, he wanted to know. Her past was hers; he wasn't going to resent her for it, and not knowing wasn't going to change it. It was part of her, and that made him interested.

"Josh?" he asked tentatively.

That one syllable jarred her with unexpected surprise, but then she realized it made sense. They'd been together nearly a year, and it was the only relationship Castle had had a front-row seat for.

For those reasons, she was very glad to be able to put that assumption to rest. "No, no. We weren't ... I mean, it wasn't ... between us, our relationship ..."

She knew the words were a random string of gibberish, but she didn't know how to tactfully explain that her relationship with Josh had never been exceedingly intimate. She took a steadying breath and forged on.

"No, Castle. It wasn't Josh. Maybe this is TMI, but I want you to know I was never like this with him. Yes, we slept together, but I never did anything else that could be perceived as deepening things between us in any meaningful way. One foot out the door, remember?"

Indeed, he did, all too well.

"Hey, Kate, I didn't mean to put you on the spot. You don't owe me any explanations."

She hugged him close, so grateful for his boundless consideration.

"I know I don't, but I guess I want to make sure you know that this is different for me. You're different. I bought those cuffs when I was with Will Sorenson, but I didn't know then what a real relationship was supposed to be like." The implication was clear that she knew now.

"Sorenson? Wow, that was a ways back. Poor bastard couldn't see how lucky he was – for which I am eternally grateful," he added smugly. And then the tone changed, deliberately, and Castle moved the topic back to the matters at hand. "A long time to wait to use such enticing aides d'amor. So, tell me, Kate, were these worth waiting five years for?" he asked seductively, wrapping the cuffs around her wrists once again.

She took the hint, quite willingly, and wasted no time playing along.

"Hmm, I'm not sure. I think I'm going to need more data before forming a thorough assessment."

He rolled his body atop her, pinning her to the bed as his mouth descended in a possessive kiss. "I think another demonstration can be arranged."

And it was a very thorough demonstration that left her gasping in euphoric satisfaction. Though his ego didn't necessarily need any more stroking, nor any other part of him at the moment, she knew that what they had together redefined every standard she'd ever had in the bedroom. Vulnerability was hardly her default setting, but with Castle, she embraced feeling exposed, both physically and emotionally. She wanted him to look, to touch, to ask, to trust, and to know her more deeply and intimately than anyone ever had. It was, she knew, what it meant to truly love someone.

When she was once again abuzz with the afterglow of Castle's persistent attention, he took the opportunity to comment, "Who knew that hidden underneath the straight-laced, by-the-book facade lay such a wantonly submissive vixen who gets insatiably aroused by the loss of control?"

"Is that a fancy way of getting me to admit I like being tied up in bed?" she asked beguilingly, unable to deny this night had been worth every second of waiting since she'd purchased the cuffs.

He shook his head. "Not at all. I already have all the evidence I need of that," he retorted, using one hand to restrain her while he drew the other along the length of her body, stroking and teasing her anew.

She blushed furiously even as she arched into him while trying half-heartedly to tug her wrists free. "I can't help it. It just feels so good. You should try it," she moaned softly, defending her darker proclivities and letting him claim her once again.

"Maybe I have," he said coyly.

"Not with me," she replied wickedly, nipping at his mouth and getting frustrated when he pulled away, toying with her.

But then he met her gaze and leaned in until his lips grazed hers ever so softly. "What are you doing next weekend?"

Before she could answer, his mouth descended firmly, giving her what she wanted, and she knew that together, they could look forward to exploring and discovering the full spectrum of sensual pleasure a true partnership like theirs promised.

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><p>The End.<p>

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><p>Thank you for reading, and for your support, reviews, and encouragement!<p> 


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